Grief

1 Samuel 19
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Pastor Colin describes the poignant moment when David, after being driven out of his home in Jerusalem, went up the Mount of Olives weeping, an event resonant with Jesus’ own journey to the cross. Despite the darkness in David’s life, God never abandoned him, attributing to the biblical principle that God stands with us in our darkest hours.

The sermon explores the internal conflict David faced, torn between his sorrow for Absalom and his responsibilities as a king. Joab, David’s commander, harshly confronted David, urging him to remember his duties towards his loyal followers. Despite Joab’s lack of compassion, his advice ultimately helped David reconnect with his responsibilities and gain strength.

Pastor Colin discusses the inadequacy of David as a king compared to the ultimate King, Jesus Christ. While David was overwhelmed with personal grief and unable to serve or save, Jesus, even in his moment of great sorrow, consecrated himself to the will of God and ministered to others. Jesus’ ability to bear our griefs and offer rest stands in stark contrast to David’s limitations.

The sermon concludes with the expectation of a glorious reunion with King Jesus, who will not be grieving but will rejoice with us. Unlike David, Jesus will welcome us with open arms, wipe away our tears, and share in his triumphant joy forever.

1 00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:07,400 Now if you’d open your Bible at 2 Samuel in chapter 19, we’re returning today to our series 2 00:00:07,400 –> 00:00:13,740 on the life of David that we broke away from at Easter. Now, Easter’s a long time ago, 3 00:00:13,740 –> 00:00:19,420 and so as we come to the closing part of the story of David, I want just to take a moment 4 00:00:19,420 –> 00:00:23,840 to remind us of where we are in the story and some of us are realizing we’ll be coming 5 00:00:23,840 –> 00:00:29,360 new to this today. Now very simply, the life of David falls 6 00:00:29,360 –> 00:00:35,439 into three parts. There are his trials, the early years when he was hounded by King Saul. 7 00:00:35,439 –> 00:00:42,340 There are his triumphs, where he united the people of God and subdued their enemies. And 8 00:00:42,340 –> 00:00:49,119 then the last period of his life is really dominated by troubles, his trials, his triumphs 9 00:00:49,119 –> 00:00:55,700 and his troubles. Because after David’s great sin with Bathsheba and then the killing of 10 00:00:55,700 –> 00:01:05,739 Uriah, her husband, David then endured one sorrow, one trouble after another, particularly 11 00:01:05,739 –> 00:01:14,260 in regard to his own family circle. We followed the story earlier in the year of the horrific 12 00:01:14,260 –> 00:01:21,800 abuse that his own daughter, Tamar, suffered within the family. How his son Amnahn was 13 00:01:21,800 –> 00:01:29,400 brutally murdered. How David’s other son Absalam raised a rebellion against his own father 14 00:01:29,400 –> 00:01:35,180 who loved him. And Absalam raised an army and came to Jerusalem and effectively evicted 15 00:01:35,180 –> 00:01:40,980 his own father. David had to flee. God’s anointed king had to flee from his own home and his 16 00:01:41,260 –> 00:01:47,900 own city in Jerusalem. And we saw that moving, moving scene where you have God’s anointed 17 00:01:47,900 –> 00:01:55,379 king going up the Mount of Olives with only a few who remain loyal to him. And he’s barefoot 18 00:01:55,379 –> 00:02:01,379 and his head is covered and he’s weeping as he goes so resonant as he goes up the Mount 19 00:02:01,379 –> 00:02:05,860 of Olives pointing to Jesus, the king whom David points to again and again, who came 20 00:02:05,860 –> 00:02:12,000 down the Mount of Olives weeping and on his way within a few days to the cross, with only 21 00:02:12,000 –> 00:02:20,899 a few of his disciples standing with him. Well, these were dark days in David’s life. 22 00:02:20,899 –> 00:02:25,279 He was subject to ridicule, this awful man Shimmy that threw dust over him. Some of you 23 00:02:25,279 –> 00:02:31,960 might remember that. He was a king in exile, not in the capital, not on the throne in Jerusalem, 24 00:02:32,199 –> 00:02:37,199 but out in the sticks in a little-known place called Mahanaim, way out to the east of the 25 00:02:37,199 –> 00:02:43,380 river Jordan. That was the only place it seems that wanted God’s rejected king. 26 00:02:43,380 –> 00:02:49,199 But we saw as we followed the story that God did not abandon David. God stood with him 27 00:02:49,199 –> 00:02:54,199 in his darkest hour. By the way, isn’t that a wonderful Bible principle? God will always 28 00:02:54,199 –> 00:03:00,839 stand with you in your darkest hour. I will never leave you, I will never forsake you. 29 00:03:01,339 –> 00:03:09,720 What happened was that Absalom listened to the wrong counsel. Instead of pursuing David 30 00:03:09,720 –> 00:03:14,300 immediately, when David would have been so vulnerable barefoot and just a few people 31 00:03:14,300 –> 00:03:20,419 who were there as supporters with him, instead of going after him straight away, Absalom 32 00:03:20,419 –> 00:03:27,339 listened to advice to delay. He basically instituted what we would call a national draft. 33 00:03:27,339 –> 00:03:31,720 He sent out the call to arms all the way across the country, which of course took a considerable 34 00:03:31,720 –> 00:03:38,820 period of time. And the plan backfired big time. And you can imagine why, because when 35 00:03:38,820 –> 00:03:45,720 the call goes out from Absalom who has just launched this revolution, this rebellion, 36 00:03:45,720 –> 00:03:50,500 and it goes out north and south and east and west, and there’s this call to arms come and 37 00:03:50,500 –> 00:03:55,720 stand with Absalom who has now risen up against King David, people are scratching their heads 38 00:03:55,779 –> 00:04:01,240 and going, do I really want to pick a fight with God’s anointed King? I mean do I want 39 00:04:01,240 –> 00:04:06,580 to be on the side that’s against the guy who defeated Goliath? The guy who’s known the 40 00:04:06,580 –> 00:04:12,139 blessing of God, done our nation so much good, united God’s people together? I don’t think 41 00:04:12,139 –> 00:04:16,140 so. I think if there’s going to be a fight, I want to be with David. And so while there 42 00:04:16,140 –> 00:04:20,980 were many who came to Absalom in Jerusalem, there were actually many more who went to 43 00:04:21,019 –> 00:04:27,019 David out in the sticks in Mahanim, and of course a great conflict became inevitable. 44 00:04:27,019 –> 00:04:32,859 But before David’s army that had gathered around him went out to battle, the king gave 45 00:04:32,859 –> 00:04:39,859 his commanders the clearest possible instruction. And you’ll see this in chapter 18, verse 5, 46 00:04:41,000 –> 00:04:46,359 as we’re picking up the thread of the story that gets us to where we are today. 47 00:04:46,359 –> 00:04:50,440 David says this, 2 Samuel 18, verse 5, 48 00:04:50,440 –> 00:04:57,440 “…deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” 49 00:04:58,200 –> 00:05:05,200 And we’re told all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders 50 00:05:06,119 –> 00:05:11,019 about Absalom. That’s a very significant statement. 51 00:05:11,019 –> 00:05:18,019 So David had three commanders, Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, all with their separate divisions. 52 00:05:20,579 –> 00:05:24,799 And he gives the clearest instructions to each of these three commanders before they 53 00:05:24,799 –> 00:05:26,019 go out into battle. 54 00:05:26,019 –> 00:05:31,940 Now, you can hear David saying this. The king says this. Now, look to his own commanders. 55 00:05:31,940 –> 00:05:35,320 I know you’re going out into battle. I’ve been there many times myself. 56 00:05:35,320 –> 00:05:37,459 I know what it’s like. 57 00:05:37,459 –> 00:05:43,660 But I’m giving you this clear instruction. You deal gently with Absalom, and you remember 58 00:05:43,660 –> 00:05:48,260 he’s my son. Joab, have you got that? 59 00:05:48,260 –> 00:05:55,260 Abishai–if you’re the one who comes across Absalom, I want you to remember this. You 60 00:05:56,779 –> 00:06:01,720 deal gently with him. You never forget, you’re dealing with my son. 61 00:06:02,359 –> 00:06:09,019 Anidi–if it’s you, I want you to hear this direct from me, and don’t 62 00:06:09,140 –> 00:06:14,299 ever forget it, you’re going into battle, but remember Absalom is my son. I mean, is 63 00:06:14,299 –> 00:06:19,519 that clear? He gave it specifically, and personally, and directly to each of the three commanders, 64 00:06:19,519 –> 00:06:26,119 and we’re told here, all the people heard when the king gave orders to all of the commanders 65 00:06:26,119 –> 00:06:30,820 about Absalom. So everyone else heard this instruction being 66 00:06:31,339 –> 00:06:36,519 so it was given directly, it was given repeatedly, it was given publicly, and it was given in 67 00:06:36,519 –> 00:06:42,299 the most personal terms. Notice what David says. Deal gently, for my sake. Now look, 68 00:06:42,299 –> 00:06:47,940 you’re my commanders. You’re going out in my name. You are going out to serve me, and 69 00:06:47,940 –> 00:06:56,200 I want you to remember what matters to me most. He’s my son. So this is personal, this 70 00:06:56,200 –> 00:07:04,320 is what I want you to do for me. Now with all the force that is packed into 71 00:07:04,320 –> 00:07:10,119 2 Samuel chapter 18 and verse 5, the clear instruction that was given repeatedly to the 72 00:07:10,119 –> 00:07:15,059 commanders, Joab, the first of them, paid absolutely no attention to that instruction 73 00:07:15,059 –> 00:07:20,779 whatsoever. Absalom, you may remember in the story, was caught either by the hair or by 74 00:07:20,859 –> 00:07:28,079 the neck. It’s not quite clear. In a tree, he was found, hanging on a tree by one of 75 00:07:28,079 –> 00:07:36,119 Joab’s soldiers. It was reported to Joab and Joab had him killed on the spot. And when 76 00:07:36,119 –> 00:07:47,279 David heard the news, he was inconsolable. The last verse of chapter 18, verse 33, The 77 00:07:47,279 –> 00:07:58,579 king was deeply moved, and he went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he 78 00:07:58,579 –> 00:08:05,700 went, he said, O my son Absalom, My son, my son Absalom, would that I had died instead 79 00:08:05,700 –> 00:08:16,459 of you? O Absalom, my son, my son. 80 00:08:16,459 –> 00:08:24,399 And that is where we take up the story today. Now, I want to make three very simple observations 81 00:08:24,399 –> 00:08:29,540 will spend by far the greatest amount of time on the first. More briefly on the other two. 82 00:08:29,540 –> 00:08:34,900 I want to make three observations from David here, and in each of these cases, I want us 83 00:08:34,900 –> 00:08:44,840 to see how the inadequacies of David points to the glories of our Lord Jesus Christ. David 84 00:08:45,000 –> 00:08:51,000 was the greatest of the Old Testament kings in that period, the greatest king that God’s 85 00:08:51,000 –> 00:08:59,359 people ever had, and he doesn’t come close to our Lord Jesus Christ. No one else ever 86 00:08:59,359 –> 00:09:05,880 can, and no one else ever will. And I want you to see that really clearly today. 87 00:09:05,880 –> 00:09:11,059 So here’s the first thing. I want you to see in David the king who could not serve. Verse 88 00:09:11,080 –> 00:09:20,619 1, it was told Joab, behold the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom. Now, I need just 89 00:09:20,619 –> 00:09:23,940 a little bit of feedback here to make sure that I’m not entirely on my own this morning. 90 00:09:23,940 –> 00:09:29,599 I’m sure I’m not, but my heart goes out to David at this point in this story. What about 91 00:09:30,359 –> 00:09:40,159 I feel sorry for him. I mean, however wicked Absalom the rebel son was, he’s still David’s 92 00:09:40,159 –> 00:09:49,840 son! And some of you know what it’s like to love a rebel son, to love a daughter who hates you. 93 00:09:49,960 –> 00:10:00,760 She’s still your daughter. And David is overwhelmed with sorrow. First, because he loves his son. 94 00:10:00,760 –> 00:10:07,340 Second, because in all that he’s tried to do over years to get close to Absalom to bring 95 00:10:07,340 –> 00:10:13,099 reconciliation with the son who has rebelled, like a prodigal son who’s gone away, nothing 96 00:10:13,099 –> 00:10:18,580 that he’s attempted has ever worked. He’s not being able to reconcile with his son. 97 00:10:18,580 –> 00:10:21,460 His son died hating his father. 98 00:10:21,460 –> 00:10:27,619 And worst of all, of course, he grieves because Absalom died not only in rebellion against 99 00:10:27,619 –> 00:10:32,559 his father, but also because his father was God’s anointed king by definition. He died 100 00:10:32,559 –> 00:10:38,780 in rebellion against God. 101 00:10:38,780 –> 00:10:45,299 David is brokenhearted, he’s inconsolable. 102 00:10:45,299 –> 00:10:55,179 So the victory that day was turned into mourning, not just for David, but for all the people. 103 00:10:55,179 –> 00:11:02,539 For the people heard that day the king is grieving for his son. 104 00:11:02,859 –> 00:11:06,200 Put yourself in the shoes of these people. 105 00:11:06,200 –> 00:11:11,219 You love your king, you’re loyal to your king, you serve him gladly. 106 00:11:11,219 –> 00:11:16,059 Others have been deserting him and going over to this rebellion, but you have stayed loyal 107 00:11:16,059 –> 00:11:21,900 to your king, and when it came to it, you were willing to even lay down your life on 108 00:11:21,900 –> 00:11:27,520 the field of battle for the king that you love and the king that you serve. 109 00:11:27,659 –> 00:11:33,239 And in the grace and mercy of God, as you went out into battle, your life was spared 110 00:11:33,239 –> 00:11:39,799 and you prevailed and you have come back with that sense of relief, that sense of triumph, 111 00:11:39,799 –> 00:11:42,260 that sense of gladness and rejoicing. 112 00:11:42,260 –> 00:11:47,000 The great rebellion is over, you come back to Mahaneim and you expect that you’re going 113 00:11:47,000 –> 00:11:50,719 to receive a hero’s welcome. 114 00:11:50,719 –> 00:11:57,200 But when you come back to the gates of this town, the king is nowhere to be seen. 115 00:11:57,200 –> 00:12:00,099 Where is he? 116 00:12:00,099 –> 00:12:02,880 Everyone who comes back is asking. 117 00:12:02,880 –> 00:12:07,359 The king is always at the gates to welcome his armies home. 118 00:12:07,359 –> 00:12:12,900 Why is he not here to meet us, why is he not here rejoicing and celebrating in our victory. 119 00:12:13,260 –> 00:12:23,219 Oh says someone, he’s not happy, he’s grieving for his rebel son. 120 00:12:23,219 –> 00:12:28,500 So instead of returning to a hero’s welcome and celebrating a great victory after all 121 00:12:28,500 –> 00:12:33,000 they’ve extended themselves in the field of battle, the king’s servants return as if they 122 00:12:33,000 –> 00:12:37,919 had been defeated, verse three, they stroll into the city that day that’s people steal 123 00:12:38,159 –> 00:12:44,400 who are ashamed, as if they had fled from the field of battle. 124 00:12:44,400 –> 00:12:48,500 This should have been a day of joy, but it was turned into a day of mourning. 125 00:12:48,500 –> 00:12:51,739 Here are people who have won, but it feels as if they are lost. 126 00:12:51,739 –> 00:12:57,960 They hoped to be honored but they feel as if they are in disgrace. 127 00:12:57,960 –> 00:13:02,440 And it is a massive disappointment for God’s people. 128 00:13:02,440 –> 00:13:06,320 And some of them must have wondered, if he weeps like this when we win, what’s he going 129 00:13:06,380 –> 00:13:10,400 to do if we lose? 130 00:13:10,400 –> 00:13:14,940 Extraordinary moment. 131 00:13:14,940 –> 00:13:20,200 Now again, you have to feel for David, don’t you? 132 00:13:20,200 –> 00:13:26,200 He’s just heard this awful news about his son. 133 00:13:26,200 –> 00:13:27,760 His own heart is breaking. 134 00:13:27,760 –> 00:13:30,619 He wants simply to be left alone. 135 00:13:30,799 –> 00:13:37,859 Can’t the man have a single day to grieve in private? 136 00:13:37,859 –> 00:13:42,599 But you see, David is the king. 137 00:13:42,599 –> 00:13:47,239 And a king can never think only of himself. 138 00:13:47,239 –> 00:13:52,299 A king always has duty towards his people. 139 00:13:52,299 –> 00:13:59,520 And even on this day when David feels overwhelmed with his own personal need, there are duties, 140 00:13:59,619 –> 00:14:04,880 there are demands, there are people who are looking for him at the gate. 141 00:14:04,880 –> 00:14:09,320 Now what you have here is something that every one of us will experience many times in life 142 00:14:09,320 –> 00:14:16,000 and that is when what you feel personally and what your responsibility is just clash 143 00:14:16,000 –> 00:14:18,080 together. 144 00:14:18,080 –> 00:14:25,080 Your own personal feelings and your own duties to others and they clash. 145 00:14:25,559 –> 00:14:28,400 Every grieving person here knows what this is like. 146 00:14:28,400 –> 00:14:29,640 Your own heart is breaking. 147 00:14:29,640 –> 00:14:30,919 You hardly know how to speak. 148 00:14:30,919 –> 00:14:35,419 You don’t want to be near to anybody, but there are children and there are parents 149 00:14:35,419 –> 00:14:41,179 and others are looking to you and depend on you and your own private feelings and your 150 00:14:41,179 –> 00:14:48,919 own responsibilities towards others clash. 151 00:14:48,919 –> 00:14:50,760 Every leader knows what this is like. 152 00:14:50,760 –> 00:14:54,039 Every leader knows what this is like. 153 00:14:54,039 –> 00:14:58,000 You come to a place in your own personal life where you are carrying a burden that feels 154 00:14:58,020 –> 00:15:01,119 more than you can bear and you say, oh, if I could just get out of here, that’s what 155 00:15:01,119 –> 00:15:03,619 I want. 156 00:15:03,619 –> 00:15:10,119 But at the same time, you are a leader and others are looking to you to minister to them. 157 00:15:10,119 –> 00:15:14,679 Every father, every mother knows what this is like. 158 00:15:14,679 –> 00:15:18,479 You may find yourself at some point in your life saying, oh, if only I didn’t have these 159 00:15:18,479 –> 00:15:21,299 responsibilities. 160 00:15:21,299 –> 00:15:26,900 If only I could just drop everything, get out of here, and be on my own. 161 00:15:26,900 –> 00:15:30,039 But there are children and there are parents and there are colleagues and there are friends 162 00:15:30,039 –> 00:15:33,580 and there is work and there is ministry, and guess what, the world doesn’t stop because 163 00:15:33,580 –> 00:15:36,700 of your sorrow. 164 00:15:36,700 –> 00:15:37,919 Everyone experienced that. 165 00:15:37,919 –> 00:15:42,320 It’s the reality of life. 166 00:15:42,320 –> 00:15:44,880 So what are we to do? 167 00:15:44,880 –> 00:15:48,820 Well, let’s follow the story. 168 00:15:48,820 –> 00:15:55,119 Word of the king’s grief reaches Joab, the commander of the king’s army. 169 00:15:55,219 –> 00:15:59,239 And Joab, of all people, when you bear in mind the responsibility that was his for the 170 00:15:59,239 –> 00:16:05,640 death of Absalom, Joab goes to the king and… how do I say this? 171 00:16:05,640 –> 00:16:09,200 Gives him a piece of his mind. 172 00:16:09,200 –> 00:16:14,880 I mean, Joab speaks here with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. 173 00:16:14,880 –> 00:16:20,500 I mean, talk about lack of pastoral tact. 174 00:16:20,500 –> 00:16:24,359 Imagine speaking like this to a king, look at verses five through seven and I’ll just 175 00:16:24,400 –> 00:16:29,419 summarize the language that he uses in speaking to the king. 176 00:16:29,419 –> 00:16:35,640 Then Joab, verse five, came into the house of the king, so he goes into the king’s private 177 00:16:35,640 –> 00:16:44,359 quarters, and said, you have covered the faces of all your servants with shame. 178 00:16:44,359 –> 00:16:48,359 You’ve made clear that those who serve you mean nothing to you. 179 00:16:48,359 –> 00:16:51,020 You obviously hate the people who love you. 180 00:16:51,020 –> 00:16:53,260 You don’t count them worth a thing. 181 00:16:53,440 –> 00:16:59,200 Now, get out of here, get outside, and get on with your job, and speak kindly to your 182 00:16:59,200 –> 00:17:00,200 servants. 183 00:17:00,200 –> 00:17:05,760 That’s a kind of a rough summary of what he says in these three verses. 184 00:17:05,760 –> 00:17:10,479 Now, I wonder what you think of Joab’s words. 185 00:17:10,479 –> 00:17:12,979 Joab is the most extraordinary enigma. 186 00:17:12,979 –> 00:17:18,040 I mean, you read this story, it’s hard to work out what’s gone on with this man. 187 00:17:18,040 –> 00:17:22,000 He was loyal to David on the one hand, but he’s a law to himself on the other. 188 00:17:22,739 –> 00:17:26,260 So, it’s quite clear that his killing of Absalom was because he believed that that was in the 189 00:17:26,260 –> 00:17:27,660 best interest of David. 190 00:17:27,660 –> 00:17:30,760 David may love this guy, but this guy will just try and kill him again, there’s only 191 00:17:30,760 –> 00:17:33,859 one way out, and I’m going to deal with it myself. 192 00:17:33,859 –> 00:17:42,099 So, he’s loyal on the one hand, but he is a liability on the other hand, and in later 193 00:17:42,099 –> 00:17:47,400 years, he was increasingly a thorn in David’s side. 194 00:17:47,699 –> 00:17:54,680 The way that he speaks to David in the depth of David’s grief is … I mean, it’s incorrigible. 195 00:17:54,680 –> 00:18:09,260 I mean, it lacks all compassion, there is zero sympathy, no understanding whatsoever. 196 00:18:09,260 –> 00:18:15,459 But you know what, as you follow the storyline, it becomes very clear that the counsel that 197 00:18:15,579 –> 00:18:22,459 He gave, however badly, was actually wise, which is a reminder, by the way, that God 198 00:18:22,459 –> 00:18:29,459 can guide us through something that is said really badly, but it was the truth anyway. 199 00:18:30,979 –> 00:18:34,660 And there will be times in our lives when we say, how could She ever speak to me like 200 00:18:34,660 –> 00:18:41,660 that? How could He ever have said what He said to me? Because it was said so terribly. 201 00:18:42,140 –> 00:18:49,140 Terribly. But you know, sometimes even what is spoken badly may contain something of truth, 202 00:18:51,880 –> 00:18:57,140 and wisdom receives what is true, even if it should have been said in a very different 203 00:18:57,140 –> 00:19:01,859 way. Now, let me in light of that draw out some 204 00:19:01,859 –> 00:19:08,819 very practical counsel for us in times when we feel overwhelmed by our own need, because 205 00:19:08,939 –> 00:19:15,219 clearly that was David’s situation here. the first is, resist the impulse to isolate yourself. 206 00:19:15,219 –> 00:19:20,800 That impulse is very strong. When you feel overwhelmed, you will feel an impulse within 207 00:19:20,800 –> 00:19:25,819 your own soul to withdraw from other people. That’s why Joab had to come into the house, 208 00:19:25,819 –> 00:19:29,660 verse 5, because David had withdrawn into private. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t 209 00:19:29,660 –> 00:19:36,619 want anybody to see me. I can understand why David wanted to be alone. 210 00:19:37,199 –> 00:19:43,939 Most of us will be familiar with that experience. But the truth was, that being alone for an 211 00:19:43,939 –> 00:19:51,400 extended period of time was not going to help David one bit at all. If you feel low, being 212 00:19:51,400 –> 00:19:58,140 on your own for an extended period of time will not help you either. However badly he 213 00:19:58,140 –> 00:20:04,020 put it, Joab did help David by getting him out of the house and forcing him to think 214 00:20:04,060 –> 00:20:11,300 about the needs of others as well as his own. Very wise council, however badly said. 215 00:20:11,300 –> 00:20:19,800 Second, when you feel overwhelmed by your own need, value the people who love you. Now 216 00:20:19,800 –> 00:20:24,579 notice how in verse 6, Joab says, You love those who hate you and you hate those who 217 00:20:24,579 –> 00:20:30,339 love you. Well the first of these of course was true. You love those who hate you. Absalom 218 00:20:30,420 –> 00:20:36,699 hated David, and David loved Absalom. He certainly loved the one who hated him. But the second 219 00:20:36,699 –> 00:20:43,540 part was not true. David did not hate his own people. David loved those who loved him 220 00:20:43,540 –> 00:20:54,959 as well as he loved those who hated him. But by withdrawing as he did, Joab was surely 221 00:20:55,780 –> 00:21:03,359 right in communicating that he was running the danger of displaying to his people a sense 222 00:21:03,359 –> 00:21:10,540 that they were really of no importance to him and had very little place in his life. 223 00:21:10,540 –> 00:21:15,020 And the wise counsel that Joab gives at this point is, look, David, instead of isolating 224 00:21:15,020 –> 00:21:21,599 yourself from the very people who are standing with you, you need to move towards the people 225 00:21:21,640 –> 00:21:28,640 who love you and you need to draw strength from them in your loss. The people who love 226 00:21:30,140 –> 00:21:37,140 you in your life are a gift from God so rather than pull back from them when you feel overwhelmed 227 00:21:38,060 –> 00:21:43,479 with your own need you move towards them. That’s real wisdom, however badly it was said 228 00:21:43,479 –> 00:21:45,599 by Joab. 229 00:21:46,380 –> 00:21:53,260 Third, when you feel overwhelmed by your own need and you face this impulse to pull back, 230 00:21:54,239 –> 00:22:02,060 withdraw, remember that responsibility is your friend even when it’s demands may seem 231 00:22:02,660 –> 00:22:06,560 overwhelming. Notice what he says in verse 7, 232 00:22:06,560 –> 00:22:12,819 Now therefore arise and go out and speak kind to your servant. That was David’s job as the 233 00:22:12,839 –> 00:22:14,839 , he greet the people as they come back. 234 00:22:16,400 –> 00:22:21,819 Now laying this on David when he was so overwhelmed with sorrow may seem harsh, 235 00:22:21,819 –> 00:22:25,640 but it is very clear as you follow the story 236 00:22:26,619 –> 00:22:29,540 that getting out of the house and 237 00:22:30,579 –> 00:22:35,520 giving himself as best he was able and he wasn’t able to do it very well as we’ll see later. But 238 00:22:36,219 –> 00:22:40,780 giving himself as best he was able to the work that God had given him to do. 239 00:22:41,400 –> 00:22:48,180 Moving towards people who loved him had a healing effect in his own soul. He got better. 240 00:22:49,900 –> 00:22:52,439 It helped him to do this. 241 00:22:54,599 –> 00:23:01,680 And there is great wisdom here remember that in times of response in times of great sorrow and times when you feel overwhelmed 242 00:23:03,800 –> 00:23:05,800 responsibility is your friend. 243 00:23:06,800 –> 00:23:08,800 It is not your enemy. 244 00:23:09,780 –> 00:23:11,780 Now 245 00:23:12,560 –> 00:23:15,619 Moving out of the house where he had withdrawn 246 00:23:16,160 –> 00:23:20,020 was not easy for David you can you can almost feel the 247 00:23:21,319 –> 00:23:23,319 tension of this in the story 248 00:23:25,000 –> 00:23:27,420 It never is easy to 249 00:23:27,880 –> 00:23:34,780 Press forward into that which will do you good when all your impulses are to pull back and to isolate yourself 250 00:23:34,859 –> 00:23:36,859 But 251 00:23:37,719 –> 00:23:39,719 David’s public duty 252 00:23:40,079 –> 00:23:42,760 David’s responsibilities to people who loved him 253 00:23:43,839 –> 00:23:49,780 What actually a gift from God that kept him going at a time when if he had simply withdrawn into himself 254 00:23:49,780 –> 00:23:55,479 He may have been crushed utterly and completely always remember responsibility is your friend 255 00:23:56,560 –> 00:23:58,560 in times of sorrow 256 00:23:58,680 –> 00:24:01,680 Even when its demands may seem overwhelming 257 00:24:02,680 –> 00:24:06,199 Now I want you to see this 258 00:24:07,439 –> 00:24:09,760 Not only in the life of David 259 00:24:10,660 –> 00:24:13,859 But supremely in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ 260 00:24:15,719 –> 00:24:21,859 Remember that Jesus knows what it is to be overwhelmed with sorrow 261 00:24:23,739 –> 00:24:28,479 Now there may be a time in your life when your heart is breaking and 262 00:24:28,739 –> 00:24:34,020 And you feel nobody can know the pain that is in this heart 263 00:24:36,180 –> 00:24:41,939 And I want to say to you on the authority of God’s Word the Lord Jesus Christ knows 264 00:24:43,219 –> 00:24:48,319 The pain in your heart not only because he is the Sovereign God and knows and feels all things 265 00:24:49,939 –> 00:24:54,979 But because he himself in the flesh has been overwhelmed with sorrow 266 00:24:55,819 –> 00:24:58,459 You have that language in the garden of gethsemane 267 00:24:59,479 –> 00:25:05,959 Matthew 26 and verse 38 the NIV translates it this way. It’s so helpful. My soul is 268 00:25:07,439 –> 00:25:10,800 Overwhelmed with sorrow that’s your Savior who said that 269 00:25:12,739 –> 00:25:14,739 Now, what did he do 270 00:25:14,979 –> 00:25:21,219 When his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow. We’re going to see the principle that we’re learning from David applied in the life of Jesus 271 00:25:21,339 –> 00:25:28,739 What did Jesus do when his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow? Well, we know how he prayed in the garden 272 00:25:29,339 –> 00:25:35,500 From John’s Gospel in chapter 17, where we have a full account of the Lord’s high priestly prayer 273 00:25:35,500 –> 00:25:39,880 It’s usually referred to in John chapter 17 and in verse 19 there 274 00:25:39,939 –> 00:25:46,339 We find that Jesus when his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow said this to the father for their sake. I 275 00:25:48,420 –> 00:25:50,420 Consecrate myself 276 00:25:50,900 –> 00:25:53,540 Do you see that private grief public Judy 277 00:25:54,780 –> 00:26:01,359 What I feel in my own heart what my responsibilities are towards others the clash right there being experienced 278 00:26:01,520 –> 00:26:08,459 By Jesus Christ himself. My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow. What am I going to do? I’m going to consecrate myself for their sake 279 00:26:11,300 –> 00:26:17,339 You say how in the world can you consecrate yourself in other words give yourself to the will and the purpose of God when your own 280 00:26:17,339 –> 00:26:19,339 heart is breaking 281 00:26:20,420 –> 00:26:23,300 That’s precisely what Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane 282 00:26:26,719 –> 00:26:29,319 His heart was breaking why because 283 00:26:29,760 –> 00:26:31,260 in the Garden 284 00:26:31,260 –> 00:26:38,520 He stares into the abyss of what it would mean for him the Holy Son of God to bear the sins of the world 285 00:26:39,040 –> 00:26:40,079 and 286 00:26:40,079 –> 00:26:43,020 what he sees in the Garden of Gethsemane as he 287 00:26:43,260 –> 00:26:49,420 Stares into what this is going to mean is so horrific that he says my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow 288 00:26:50,839 –> 00:26:52,839 And 289 00:26:53,359 –> 00:26:55,359 What does our King do 290 00:26:56,300 –> 00:27:01,459 He doesn’t withdraw he moves beyond his own pain, and he consecrates himself 291 00:27:02,959 –> 00:27:04,959 for the service of others 292 00:27:06,119 –> 00:27:10,500 For the calling of God upon his life even when he is overwhelmed with sorrow 293 00:27:12,599 –> 00:27:14,599 And how does he do it he 294 00:27:14,719 –> 00:27:19,099 Endures the book of Hebrews tells us because he keeps his eyes fixed on the joy 295 00:27:19,099 –> 00:27:21,540 That is set before him. There’s no joy for him right now 296 00:27:21,540 –> 00:27:24,859 there’s only the prospect of this that God will bring something of 297 00:27:25,359 –> 00:27:29,599 Infinite value and of eternal good out of even this 298 00:27:31,239 –> 00:27:33,239 Now do you see the contrast 299 00:27:34,619 –> 00:27:39,520 Because in David we have a king who is so consumed with his own grief 300 00:27:40,079 –> 00:27:44,180 That he is not able to minister to others. He’s not at the gate 301 00:27:44,180 –> 00:27:47,760 He’s he’s up in the room and he’s consumed with his own sorrow 302 00:27:49,420 –> 00:27:51,420 But in Jesus 303 00:27:51,520 –> 00:27:53,520 We have a greater King 304 00:27:54,020 –> 00:27:57,760 Who even in the agony of his own soul, what does he do? 305 00:27:57,760 –> 00:28:03,099 He consecrates himself for our sake he gives himself to minister to us 306 00:28:04,939 –> 00:28:10,160 Let me put it to you this way David is not a king that you could go to with your problems 307 00:28:11,500 –> 00:28:13,500 He’s maxed out with his own 308 00:28:14,900 –> 00:28:18,380 He’s too weighed down. There’s nothing more that his shoulders can carry 309 00:28:19,780 –> 00:28:21,400 But 310 00:28:21,400 –> 00:28:28,119 Jesus is the king who comes to bear our griefs and to carry our sorrows 311 00:28:30,380 –> 00:28:37,359 He’s the one who comes to us today to you today and he alone can say to you come to me you’re weary 312 00:28:38,599 –> 00:28:40,599 You’re heavy laden 313 00:28:40,819 –> 00:28:44,199 You come to me. I will give you rest 314 00:28:44,939 –> 00:28:46,939 Only 315 00:28:47,579 –> 00:28:49,819 Jesus Christ could ever say that to you 316 00:28:50,800 –> 00:28:57,099 David could never say that to any of the people who loved him and you know what the people who love you might wish that 317 00:28:57,099 –> 00:28:59,219 They could say that to you, but they can’t I 318 00:29:02,900 –> 00:29:08,020 Will give you rest is something that only Jesus can say and only Jesus can do 319 00:29:08,619 –> 00:29:09,540 and 320 00:29:09,540 –> 00:29:12,380 To the person who feels overwhelmed today 321 00:29:12,540 –> 00:29:15,540 Jesus says take my yoke upon you 322 00:29:17,680 –> 00:29:19,680 Bind yourself to me 323 00:29:20,859 –> 00:29:23,099 And then that I will bind myself to you 324 00:29:23,099 –> 00:29:30,939 And what that will mean is that I will pull your load with you only Jesus Christ can ever say that 325 00:29:33,380 –> 00:29:35,380 The inadequacies of David 326 00:29:36,380 –> 00:29:39,060 Shine a light on the glories of Jesus Christ 327 00:29:39,359 –> 00:29:41,359 This 328 00:29:43,780 –> 00:29:46,939 Greatest King and he doesn’t come close to our Jesus 329 00:29:49,020 –> 00:29:55,140 No one else who has ever lived can do for you what Jesus Christ the Son of God does and 330 00:29:55,900 –> 00:29:57,219 offers 331 00:29:57,219 –> 00:29:59,619 when we are overwhelmed in grief and 332 00:30:00,479 –> 00:30:02,579 We are carrying a great burden 333 00:30:03,380 –> 00:30:05,380 of sorrow a 334 00:30:06,239 –> 00:30:08,719 a king who couldn’t serve I 335 00:30:11,520 –> 00:30:15,420 Said the other points would be much briefer, but I want you to see this 336 00:30:17,219 –> 00:30:24,719 There’s another contrast here that David clearly at this point is a king who could not save look at verse four 337 00:30:26,239 –> 00:30:30,859 The king covered his face and 338 00:30:32,260 –> 00:30:34,939 The king cried out with a loud voice 339 00:30:35,859 –> 00:30:40,219 Oh, my son Absalom Oh Absalom my son 340 00:30:40,900 –> 00:30:42,819 my son 341 00:30:42,819 –> 00:30:49,239 You take this in what that looked and that sounded like David’s got his head in his hands 342 00:30:50,119 –> 00:30:53,400 He doesn’t want to see anyone. He doesn’t want anyone to see him 343 00:30:55,099 –> 00:30:59,680 He cries out in a loud voice there’s a scream coming out of the house 344 00:31:02,199 –> 00:31:04,199 He’s distraught 345 00:31:04,859 –> 00:31:10,439 He’s in despair he tools defeated he’s powerless he doesn’t know what to do 346 00:31:13,699 –> 00:31:15,699 He’s the king and 347 00:31:17,520 –> 00:31:23,140 The agony of his soul is and the king and I can’t even save my own sonic of the clearest possible 348 00:31:23,479 –> 00:31:29,619 Instruction and even when I’ve done that Joe another bit shy it I I gave the clearest possible public personal instruction 349 00:31:29,619 –> 00:31:32,079 I don’t even have the power to save my own son 350 00:31:35,060 –> 00:31:37,060 Okay, you cannot say 351 00:31:40,699 –> 00:31:47,380 But there’s something else here that’s really important the last verse of chapter 18. Do you notice the David says there oh 352 00:31:48,140 –> 00:31:50,140 my son Absalom 353 00:31:50,380 –> 00:31:55,640 My son my son absolutely number of times. That’s repeated. I think he said this over and over and over again 354 00:31:56,459 –> 00:31:58,459 But notice what he says next 355 00:31:59,280 –> 00:32:01,140 Would I? 356 00:32:01,140 –> 00:32:05,839 Had died instead of you. If only it had been me who died and not you 357 00:32:08,160 –> 00:32:10,160 Now, you know why David said that 358 00:32:12,439 –> 00:32:16,520 After David sinned with Bathsheba and the killing of Uriah 359 00:32:18,819 –> 00:32:24,939 Nathan the prophet gave this prophecy to David that we looked at earlier in the series now therefore the sword 360 00:32:26,040 –> 00:32:28,280 Shall never depart from your house 361 00:32:29,160 –> 00:32:34,599 The sword will never depart from your house 362 00:32:35,359 –> 00:32:40,599 Therefore in the light of the killing of Uriah and what has happened with Bathsheba 363 00:32:42,260 –> 00:32:48,599 The sword will never depart from your house and that was true of the history of 364 00:32:49,520 –> 00:32:53,520 David’s troubled years that followed God forgave his sin 365 00:32:55,119 –> 00:32:57,119 But he did live with the 366 00:32:57,760 –> 00:33:04,439 Consequences of his own taking of the life of Uriah and his own taking of Uriah’s wife 367 00:33:05,880 –> 00:33:10,599 The sword did indeed come to David’s family and now 368 00:33:12,520 –> 00:33:16,500 Absalom the rebel, son is dead and 369 00:33:18,280 –> 00:33:21,560 When David hears about the death of absalom 370 00:33:22,560 –> 00:33:26,819 Here’s his natural response the swords come to my house 371 00:33:27,680 –> 00:33:29,819 Absalom’s dead and it should have been me 372 00:33:32,020 –> 00:33:34,020 I’m the one who’s sinned 373 00:33:35,359 –> 00:33:37,359 I’m the one who should have died 374 00:33:39,239 –> 00:33:43,599 Absalom my son my son, I wish I could have died instead of you Oh 375 00:33:43,839 –> 00:33:45,839 Oh 376 00:33:45,859 –> 00:33:51,900 David would gladly have laid down his own life if doing that would have saved 377 00:33:52,160 –> 00:33:55,380 Absalom but David could not take Absaloms place 378 00:33:56,979 –> 00:34:03,479 He’s a King who cannot save and that’s why his face is in his hands 379 00:34:05,380 –> 00:34:08,760 Now you can see the contrast here already you’re seeing that 380 00:34:09,100 –> 00:34:15,520 We need a better King than David we need a King who can save and Jesus is that better King 381 00:34:16,760 –> 00:34:20,159 What David wished to do for Absalom? 382 00:34:21,020 –> 00:34:25,199 Would that I had died instead of you Jesus did for us 383 00:34:26,040 –> 00:34:32,379 He became our substitute and all that was due to us on account of our sin was 384 00:34:33,120 –> 00:34:35,120 redirected on to him 385 00:34:36,120 –> 00:34:42,860 David says Oh absurd. I wish I could have died in your place Jesus says I did die in your place 386 00:34:44,560 –> 00:34:48,560 He bore our sins in his body on the tree and God 387 00:34:49,120 –> 00:34:53,919 Demonstrates his love for us in this that while we were still sinners 388 00:34:53,919 –> 00:34:59,699 We were rebelling against God hated God pursuing our own way while we were still the rebels against him 389 00:35:00,239 –> 00:35:03,399 Jesus Christ died for us 390 00:35:05,639 –> 00:35:09,419 And then very briefly one more contrast that I just want you to see 391 00:35:10,000 –> 00:35:12,860 That points us forward to the day when we will see our King 392 00:35:14,000 –> 00:35:19,060 Because what you find here is in David not only a king who couldn’t serve 393 00:35:19,879 –> 00:35:21,879 consumed with his own sorrows 394 00:35:22,020 –> 00:35:26,780 Not only a king who couldn’t save because he couldn’t take the place of his own son 395 00:35:27,479 –> 00:35:29,479 die in his stead 396 00:35:29,760 –> 00:35:34,360 But we find in the last scene of the story that we’ve read a king who couldn’t speak which is 397 00:35:34,959 –> 00:35:37,219 hardly surprisingunder the circumstances 398 00:35:38,120 –> 00:35:41,979 So follow what happens Joab’s made the intervention. He’s spoken the truth 399 00:35:41,979 –> 00:35:44,879 he said it terribly harshly, but he did speak wisdom and 400 00:35:45,479 –> 00:35:48,300 He says verse 7 go out and speak 401 00:35:49,100 –> 00:35:53,860 Kindly speak kindly to your servants go out speak to your servants 402 00:35:54,580 –> 00:36:00,340 They’ve been out in the field of battle ready to lay down their lives for you go speak to them and speak kindly to them 403 00:36:01,379 –> 00:36:06,580 Covers age we’re told the King arose. Can you picture the man who said his head in his hands 404 00:36:06,600 –> 00:36:09,620 He hauls himself out. What an act of strength that was 405 00:36:10,340 –> 00:36:15,260 And he goes and he takes his seat at the gate and all the people hear about this and the people 406 00:36:15,639 –> 00:36:21,739 Came before the King. So David goes out word gets around now. The crowd begins to gather and 407 00:36:22,459 –> 00:36:28,179 And when people see the king that they have been serving he is grieving 408 00:36:31,760 –> 00:36:33,780 Credit to David 409 00:36:33,780 –> 00:36:37,159 for listening to joe abs wise counsel and at least attempting 410 00:36:37,899 –> 00:36:39,899 What needed to be done. He did his best 411 00:36:41,379 –> 00:36:43,659 But it’s very clear that his 412 00:36:44,939 –> 00:36:46,939 Effort here was 413 00:36:47,300 –> 00:36:50,800 Understandably limited by his own diminished capacity 414 00:36:51,739 –> 00:36:56,260 He may be able to sit at the seat at the gate, but they’re just they can’t produce any words 415 00:36:59,080 –> 00:37:01,899 Joab says go and speak kindly. Well 416 00:37:02,739 –> 00:37:08,699 There isn’t a record of a single word that David spoke here. He just sat at the gate 417 00:37:10,340 –> 00:37:12,600 In his grief and in his sorrow 418 00:37:14,100 –> 00:37:17,500 so now picture yourself again as you come back with the 419 00:37:18,080 –> 00:37:25,060 Continuing flow of the returning army as they come back in groups one after another over a period of time and 420 00:37:25,899 –> 00:37:27,899 Here’s the king and now he’s there 421 00:37:29,020 –> 00:37:31,020 but he’s just sitting and 422 00:37:32,459 –> 00:37:34,459 He’s grieving 423 00:37:34,719 –> 00:37:36,020 and 424 00:37:36,020 –> 00:37:38,020 He’s silent 425 00:37:38,360 –> 00:37:40,360 What a strange scene 426 00:37:42,139 –> 00:37:46,260 These people have risked their lives for the king they come back and 427 00:37:47,500 –> 00:37:49,500 He has nothing to say 428 00:37:50,820 –> 00:37:52,300 And 429 00:37:52,300 –> 00:37:54,300 His people must have wondered 430 00:37:55,199 –> 00:38:00,459 It was all our devoted service to him really worth it I 431 00:38:04,199 –> 00:38:08,939 Want to end by saying this when you see your king he will not be grieving and 432 00:38:09,780 –> 00:38:11,899 Jesus Christ will give you a better welcome 433 00:38:13,840 –> 00:38:15,840 Jesus Christ will give you a better welcome 434 00:38:16,760 –> 00:38:20,479 The joy of that day, of course will be that when we see our King 435 00:38:20,479 –> 00:38:26,179 We will not enter into his great city because we have won a great victory for Jesus 436 00:38:26,199 –> 00:38:29,560 We will be filled with joy because Jesus has won a great victory for us 437 00:38:31,760 –> 00:38:34,639 But when you see your King he will not be silent 438 00:38:36,360 –> 00:38:40,020 Brother sister in Christ as you extend yourself to faithfully 439 00:38:40,919 –> 00:38:44,600 Serve your King Jesus sometimes at great cost 440 00:38:45,320 –> 00:38:48,040 When you see your King, he will not be silent 441 00:38:48,040 –> 00:38:51,260 He will hear his voice. Well done good and faithful 442 00:38:51,840 –> 00:38:56,899 Servant enter into your masters joy when it be something to hear the voice of Jesus say that to you 443 00:38:59,699 –> 00:39:05,500 And when you see your King you will not be wondering if all your devoted service was really worth it 444 00:39:07,239 –> 00:39:08,800 Because your King will not be grieving 445 00:39:08,899 –> 00:39:10,780 Because your King will not be grieving 446 00:39:10,780 –> 00:39:18,080 He will see of the fruit of the travail of his soul and he will be satisfied. He will rejoice with you 447 00:39:23,840 –> 00:39:28,360 The people returning to the grieving King could not wipe tears out of his eyes 448 00:39:30,399 –> 00:39:32,879 But your triumphant King when you see him 449 00:39:33,780 –> 00:39:37,100 Will wipe all tears from your eyes 450 00:39:37,379 –> 00:39:43,219 And you will share the unspeakable joy of his life and of his triumph 451 00:39:44,020 –> 00:39:46,020 forever and forever 452 00:39:47,600 –> 00:39:49,600 Father 453 00:39:50,340 –> 00:39:55,459 We feel something of the wonder of Jesus Christ 454 00:39:56,679 –> 00:40:00,219 To whom no one else who has ever lived can ever come close 455 00:40:00,699 –> 00:40:07,080 We bless him as the king who serves and who saves 456 00:40:07,780 –> 00:40:11,739 And who speaks and one day we will see him and hear his voice 457 00:40:13,120 –> 00:40:18,419 Father for the person today who is grieving for the person today, who just feels overwhelmed 458 00:40:19,560 –> 00:40:27,159 May the strength that is in our king who carries our griefs and gets under our burdens and enters into our sorrows 459 00:40:28,020 –> 00:40:33,120 May His strength be ours. May we move towards Him and 460 00:40:33,800 –> 00:40:35,800 find strength in Him and 461 00:40:36,159 –> 00:40:41,120 These things we ask with gratitude for our Savior and in Jesus name and everyone said 462 00:40:41,899 –> 00:40:43,899 Amen

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Colin Smith

Trustee / Founder and Teaching Pastor

Colin Smith is the Senior Pastor of The Orchard Evangelical Free Church in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. He has authored a number of books, including Heaven, How I Got Here and Heaven, So Near – So Far. Colin is the Founder and Teaching Pastor for Open the Bible. Follow him on X formerly Twitter.

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It is possible to serve the Lord with great distinction, and then to undo much of the good you have accomplished.

The final chapter of David’s life serves as a warning to us that it is possible to accomplish much good, but then for it all to unravel in the later years of our lives because of our own sin and folly.

Colin Smith

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